I feel like I don’t have too much to write about, but I want to write anyway. I’ve been settling into my new job and meeting my new clients, which has been great. I get to work with some people with whom I’ve worked before, which is interesting. I’m also trying to be more proactive with regards to self-care, meaning that I am not going to skip lunches or stay ridiculously late like I did when I worked there before. Of course, the nature of social work is that there will be crises for which my needs must be put aside, but by and large, the world will not end if I take a lunch break.

In terms of mental health, things have been okay. I cut my antidepressant down a bit and have definitely noticed a big difference…and not a positive one. I have felt more irritable. Today I asked my partner, “Have I seemed more bitchy to you lately?” Her reluctance to answer was all the response I needed. I am going back up to my full dose.

I still seem to have this stupid idea about antidepressants…like I shouldn’t need it, I should be able to just get through things with no help. Of course, this rule applies to nobody but me. But today I thought, what is the point of thinking like that? My antidepressant makes me feel so much better. It allows me to function. It makes it easier to take a shower and brush my teeth. And you know what, with the abuse and trauma I’ve gone through, I deserve a little bit of help. We all deserve a little bit of help, regardless of trauma or abuse, but this is the lens through which I have to look at it for myself. So I’m going to take my damn antidepressant and I’m going to feel good about it. Doing that is yet another act of self-care.

Additionally, I would like to get a gym membership for myself and my partner. I used to exercise a lot, almost every day. It always helped me feel better both mentally and physically. When I started graduate school and ended up working 65+ hours a week in addition to coursework, exercise fell to the wayside. I want to exercise in order to feel better. My partner has been saying she wants to lose weight. I really can’t be part of those conversations, because for my own sanity I have accepted my weight, and her weight talk can very quickly become disordered. However, I think exercise may help her be happier and more comfortable with the body she has. It would also be a great way to spend some time together doing something fun!

I’m interested to know what others do to take care of themselves. Any tips?