I saw my doctor a few days ago, and she put me on metformin. I don’t have diabetes, but I do have insulin resistance syndrome. That, couples with my other lab results, makes my doctor pretty sure that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. My partner has said a few times that she thinks I have it, and it seems to be the case. We can’t really see if my ovaries do, indeed, have cysts, because that would require a vaginal ultrasound which is just not happening. But it’s one of those situations where all the other signs are there, so it doesn’t really matter if we did the ultrasound or not.

My doctor also gave me the name of a gynecologist with access to an OR who could sedate me to do an exam and pap. The idea of this freaks my partner out a LOT, and I have to be careful of what I say to her about it so that I don’t trigger her. However, it doesn’t bother me at all. I just want to go to sleep and have it over with.

I got an email from my father on my birthday, pretty much begging for me to have contact with him again. I am considering it. I think I may be able to stick up for myself at this point and enforce my boundaries. Even though he has been emotionally abusive in the past, I do miss him. It makes me feel very weird to miss and want to contact someone who has hurt me so badly.

I guess I really don’t have too much to say.

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