Haven’t felt much like writing lately. Things continue to be pretty hectic and I basically feel like I’m either running around to school/work/internship or rushing home to get a few hours of sleep. Not sure how much longer I can continue this, but I guess I have to just get over it until the end of April when my internship ends.

The class that I am taking right now is ridiculous. We have a massive project with basically no clear directions, our professor is chronically late and spends a good 20 minutes of class time trying to figure out how to get his PowerPoint on the screen, and every grade in the class is part of the group project.

I hate group projects. My tendency to need control over things and my inability to procrastinate usually mean that I end up doing the majority of the work. I was determined not to let that happen this time, and so teamed up with some smart people. We divided the work equally. Then came the day before the literature review was due, and the person who was supposed to write it came to class with ONE poorly written page. I had to do extra research and write the entire paper during my shift that night between class sessions and I got us a motherfucking A. My friend who had been responsible for it does not seem to understand why I am annoyed with him and is acting like I’m crazy for worrying about our grade when nothing is getting done. A couple other group members and I are working on data analysis and writing our final paper, and he and another woman (who also has not done any work thus far) are supposed to complete an evaluation plan for child protective services. They have not started and it’s due this weekend. I emailed the professor saying we would need more time on that aspect of the project and he said that would be fine, but it still grinds my grits that they don’t seem to care about the project and are probably going to leave it for me to frantically do during work. So frustrating!

Apart from that issue, things are generally okay. I’ve been having the usual nightmares, but I’m finding it easier to let them go after I wake up. Have not had sex in a long time. I am so tired that the idea of having sex and dealing with the flashback-body feelings that come with it is completely ridiculous. My partner is being really great about not bugging me, but I know she is frustrated. Guess she should actually look for a better job if she wants to get some, because as long as I am working and at school 70 hours a week it is not happening. That sounded harsh. I am in a bad mood. There are just so many instances of different people in my life not pulling their weight in various ways, and I am so sick of picking up the slack for everybody. Wah wah, poor me. Whatever. I’ll shut up now.

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