I feel like I have a lot to write about, but I’m working on 2 hours of sleep following an overnight, followed by three hours of class and now I’m in the midst of another overnight leading into 3.5 hours of class tomorrow…excuses, excuses, but I’m tired. So I’m going to write about today’s daily prompt (http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/23/daily-prompt-fake/), “What was the last lie you told? Why did you tell it?”

I am a person who feels and says that they value honesty, but lies all the time. I typically do not tell outright lies; my transgressions tend more to the side of lying by omission or simply not being honest and forthright about something that is bugging me. Tonight was an exception.

I went to class not looking forward to seeing an acquaintance of mine. She used to be a friend, but sadly, our friendship could not withstand the issues arising from her relationship with her fiancé. Long story short, my fiancée did their engagement photos before we realized what a jerk this guy is, and he proceeded to gush over the finished product but not pay her and eventually berate and bully her, at one point screaming and yelling at her over the phone when she contacted him about payment. Eventually, my friend paid us the money that was owed in cash, asking us not to let her fiancé know because he controlled the money and would be angry. I voiced my concerns twice about this guy being controlling, manipulative, and abusive, and she told me that several people had expressed those same concerns, but she was sticking with him. She still seems to think we are good friends, but I have largely disengaged so as to not put myself in the line of fire with him.

Back to the lie: they have decided to get married in a small ceremony in about 2 months, and tonight she asked if my fiancée and I would attend the wedding. I had to tell her we would not; I do not support this marriage and he never made things right with me or my fiancée. My lie was this: I blamed it on my fiancée. I first tried to dodge the issue, saying that I will be working every day in September (not a lie), but then she said it would actually be in October. I then said, “Yeah, I don’t think we’ll be able to make it…you know, because of (fiancée). He never apologized or ever contacted her again.” She assured me that she was not offended and had predicted that would be my answer. Although there was truth to my statement (fiancée really would not be okay with attending this wedding, obviously), I should have told the entire truth. Instead of saying that I do not want to see this man and possibly reiterating my concerns about safety in the relationship, I deflected it onto my fiancée. That was the wrong thing to do, because my fiancée is her own person and gets to decide when her opinions are expressed.

I guess the reason I told that lie was that I was afraid to cause trouble. My class is a very tight group, and any interpersonal struggles become apparent to others very quickly. I also do not want to really lose my friend/acquaintance, as I do like her as a person. As usual, I was trying to make everyone happy (or at least as not unhappy as possible), and it did not actually work. I regret that I did not use the opportunity to tell her my feelings about this man again (I know it is technically none of my business, but I think it is my business to worry about the safety of someone I care about), and I inadvertently put my fiancée on the line if my friend says something to her fiancé. My efforts to remain comfortable in the moment by displacing my thoughts and emotions onto my fiancée could have pretty negative consequences.

What about you? What was your most recent lie and why?